Leadership styles – 5 ways to handle conflict constructively
We have all been there. You feel the conflict arising, whether it’s the feeling in your gut or head or just a general level of frustration and uneasiness. We have our default styles for handling conflict and this can change based upon the situation and where you are in a conflict cycle, writes Roger Dwan of Cube Consulting.
As the conflict develops our focus narrows. Rather than being able to focus on the issue from multiple perspectives, we become more blinkered in our approach, and our ability to understand the perspectives of other people falls away. Eventually, we are only focused on self-preservation which means it's nearly impossible to resolve the conflict in a constructive way. The key to success is self-awareness and being able to remain focused on your own needs, the needs of others, and the demands of the situation.
There are different theories around conflict styles but most conclude there are 5 main ones and each can be the most useful strategy for any given conflict if applied correctly and at the right time.
#1. Collaboration for win-win
This is usually thought of as the optimal solution and it can be depending on the situation. Where the conflict relates to something that is very important to all parties in an ongoing relationship it is important that everyone feels their views are being listened to and their needs are being met. This approach can require a lot of time and effort but can be worth it particularly if it transforms the relationship.
#2. Accommodate others
This is often overlooked in our desire to be competitive but there are times when it’s prudent to accept that a particular issue means more to somebody else than you and by recognising this and resolving the conflict by accommodating others you can take a deliberate action that reduces tension and creates a lot of goodwill which improves the relationship.
Needless to say, this depends on the issues at hand and there are times when you need to be able to take a stand.
#3. Assert yourself
You need to have the ability to be assertive in relation to something that’s important to you and the skill lies in presenting this in a compelling way.
If you are not careful you may come across as aggressive or overly competitive but if you explain clearly where you are coming from and your reasons for this other people will likely respect you for standing up for what’s important to you.
Be careful though everything can’t be important to you so you may need to use this approach sparingly.
#4. Avoid and/or Analyse
Sometimes the heat needs to be taken out of the situation. That can be to give yourself more time to consider what’s happening or it just makes sense to avoid a particularly emotional situation. Either way, it can be a good strategy at the moment but be aware that it may just be a temporary fix and you may need to revisit at a more opportune time.
#5. Compromise and split the difference
Let’s face it there are some issues where you just need to concede you won’t get everything you want and it’s better to just split the difference and move on. The skill here is recognising whether the situation demands and whether the other party is of a similar view and then has a coherent negotiating strategy. Be aware that if this is used as the default approach in situations that demand more understanding and engagement it will likely not lead to an optimal outcome.
About Cube Consulting
Cube Consulting facilitate positive change & development in organizations, teams, groups & individuals. Roger Dwan is the Founder and principal consultant at Cube Consulting. He has been working in the areas of Human Resources, Conflict Management & Leadership Development since 2002 and brings a wealth of experience.
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